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by wimsicalpan
Summary: How exactly does the SGC hire scientists and civilians? A job advertisment in the papers of course. Silly fun.


A/N: So, a little silly idea about how exactly the SGC recruits scientists and civilians.

Disclaimer: Not mine

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Dr Markus Monroe glanced through the classified section of the newspaper. He was a physicist in need of a job if he wanted to keep his apartment.

Plenty of teaching placements had caught his eye, but he wasn't a very big public speaker, even if the people were eager to learn about the thing he loved.

Sighing, he turned the page and stopped at an advertisement that really caught his eye.

WANTED: Physicists and chemists of any and all skill levels. Preferably ones with PhD's or equivalent levels.

JOB OFFER: to be a part of a working team that work on numerous projects that you could not imagine. Payment is well and raises are competitive. Many opportunities to travel to many different places and to meet and be a part of many different cultures and religions. Expenses are paid for and will be given adequate housing and supplies for your duration of work.

You may be required to move closer to the job.

If interested, please ring this number.

_Hmm_ he thought as he read through the very vague and ominous ad again. Travel would be paid for, he wouldn't have to worry about looking for a new apartment all by himself. He'd always wanted to see the world a bit and with the opportunity of travelling being paid for, he picked up the phone and dialled the number.

**SGSGSGSGSG**

A small diner in Colorado Springs was not what he imagined as a place for an interview.

He sat a small table in the corner, nervously fingering the cup of coffee in his hands as his eyes jumped from one patron to the other and to the door.

Minutes passed and he was beginning to think it was all a hoax when somebody sat down across from him. Monroe eyed him up, the grey hair and chocolate brown eyes made him wary. The guy seemed too old and not at all what he imagined one of his potential bosses would look like.

A woman scooted in next to him, short cropped blonde hair and blue politely sparkling at him. "Hello," she said. "My name's Samantha Carter."

"Jack O'Neill," the older man said, waving his hand dismissively.

"Dr Markus Monroe."

"We know," Jack said making the other man look at him funny. _We know? What else does he know?_ As if reading his mind Jack placed his hands on the table and leaned forward ever so slightly, "We also know that you graduated in the top 4 percent of your class, have many recommendations."

"In other words," Samantha said. "You have a very promising resume."

Jack turned to look at her, a fake hurt look on his face, "I was getting to that." He turned back to face Monroe, "You have a very promising resume."

"Um," he said. What could he say? He was a little creeped out that these two strangers knew a little bit about him, more than other employees had known.

Both strangers stared at him as if waiting for him to say anything else and Monroe almost sagged in relief when Jack broke the thin silence. "We just have some questions before we 'hire' you," he said with hand gestures.

"Okay."

The two shared a look with each other before turning to face him questioningly.

Samantha pulled out a stapled document and slid it across the table to him with a pen. "Just fill this out and we'll get back to you."

He blinked at her, blinked at Jack and looked down at the questionnaire in front of him. "Okay," he said again and picked up the pen.

The first few questions were generic ones; name? age? Current occupation? Education? Address?

Halfway down the page some of the questions made him frown but he shook it off and answered them anyway.

_Do you have an open mind? Yes._

_Do you prefer working as a team, alone or both? Both._

_If you were asked to choose between going with your gut instinct and following everyone else's decision if they were wrong, which would you choose? It would depend upon the situation. I would generally do with my instinct and voice it._

They carried on in a similar fashion and when eh turned the page he had to pull back and look across at his companions who were quietly whispering to each other and ignoring him.

Shaking his head he looked back to the paper and back at them, "Are these serious questions?"

Blank stares greeted him and both gave the other a look before saying together, "Yes."

"Okay," he whispered, going back to the questionnaire.

_If you had the chance to meet life on another planet would you? Yes._

_If you could travel to another planet would you? Yes. _

_Do you believe that there are other races out there that could potentially be more civilised then our own culture? It could theoretically be possible. _

_Do you believe in wormholes? Unstable wormholes yes._

_Consider this scenario: You are alone on an alien world with a device in your hands capable of destroying all life on that planet including yourself. There are thousands of enemy aliens on that planet looking for you so that they may torture you and discover the co-ordinates to Earth. Also on the planet are dozens of innocent people who are slowly being slaughtered to get to you. _

_Would you; _

_A) Let the, find you and give up the address to stop their reign of terror on the planet._

_B) Let them find you and die during the torture without saying a word._

_C) Run to a transport ring and get home before they can find you._

_D) Use the device and destroy the planet, innocent lives, and enemy so that Earth is still safe and have a nice sounding funeral with nice words said. _

_E) Just hide until a rescue team arrives - very unlikely in that situation - and hope that they find you before the enemy does._

_Or F) Try to take on the psychotic enemy in hopes you may just come out of it alive. _

Okay, what was he supposed to put for that? He could never imagine a situation like that ever coming up in his life.

Frowning and casting quick glances to his companions he put his answer: _B and F. I would try to take out as many as I could and when I get captured keep Earth's co-ordinates safe._

The next question boggled his mind.

_If your friend had been taken over by an alien snake that controlled their body, and they were trying to kill you so that they could escape back to their home world to plan an attack against Earth, would you;_

_A) Kill them _

_B) Stun them and hold them in isolation until said snake could be removed_

_C) Let them_

_Or D) Alert the base and fight off your friend until help arrived? _

_D_ he put, unsure of how answering these questions could help him to get a job.

_Would you leave all of your possessions and family behind to live in another galaxy because it may hold secrets to long lost myths? _

_If you had the choice of how you would die, what would you choose? _

_Have you ever used a gun before? _

_Would you be willing to risk your life in a weekly basis if need be?_

_Would you be willing to keep all of your work a secret to stop the world falling into chaos?_

_If you had the choice of what you could do in you job, what would it be? _

The questions kept coming and the last two on the four page questionnaire really boggled him.

_Does your family have a history of mental illnesses?_

_If a job was very demanding of you, would you be able to cope with the week by week stress levels or would you consider yourself unstable in constant scenarios of high stress? _

He put 'No' for the first and 'Stable' for the second, wondering how bad a job could get that would induce daily stress upon the body. "Done," he said, sliding the form across the table.

"We'll contact you as soon as we can," Jack said before both of them left.

**SGSGSGSGSGSG**

_If you had the choice of how you would die, how would you?_

Dr Markus Monroe remembered that question as he stood, hands tied behind his back with a thick heavy wall behind him. A group of seven men stood, guns raised at his body and he closed his eyes.

_If I live long enough, old age. If not, a quick death of perhaps a bullet to the head. I don't want it to be painful. _

He wished he was being killed by drowning or even being set on fire right now. He even wished he was blindfolded so that he didn't have to watch his killers faces light up at the prospect of killing someone by firing squad.

On P3X - 712, he had gotten captured and questioned and tortured for what felt like days. He still couldn't believe that wormholes could be stable or that he was on another planet all together.

He'd been working at the SGC for six months now and the questionnaire seemed as big of a joke now as it did then.

But he understood the questions.

He only hoped he got rescued before his answer came true.


End file.
